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Week 8: Must-have cat toys … according to Paul

March 8, 2011

Humans —

This weight loss thing is tough. And for being such an excellent sport about it — and for baring my soul on this blog — I feel I should be rewarded. Here are nine things I want … NOW.

1. Carrot Catnip Toy. Not only is this toy super soft and filled with the best drug in the entire world, it also represents my new healthy lifestyle. ($3.50)

2. Castle Cat Tree Tower. It’s about damn time I got my own place and this palace looks like the perfect home for a king like myself. ($279.99)

3. Cat Shelf. What better way to decorate a house than with my beautiful body? Yes, this is more of a gift for the humans than for myself but, hey, I’m a generous guy. ($99.99)

4. Sway Magnetic Teaser. This will further help me in my ninja training. ($15.99)

5. Caterpillar Cat Toys. These things are so ugly that I just want to punch them in the face.  ($4.99)

6. Realistic Toy Mice. I destroy these mice like it’s my job on a regular basis — eating their tails and ripping their bodies apart. Thus, I need more — STAT. ($8.75 for 20)

7. Cat Tent. I’m sick and tired of being left behind when the fleabags and humans go in the backyard and on their walks.  With this tent I can stalk my prey yet still be sheltered from the disgusting elements. ($69.99)

8. Cat Chaise.  I have a thing for cheetah print. You got a problem with that? ($128 to $147)

9. Tick Tock Teaser. The cat in this photo is extremely good-looking. And you know what they say — sex sells. ($15.99)

That’s it.  Get shopping humans.

— Paul the Needy Cat

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