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Richter and Paul judge the Westminster Dog Show

February 16, 2011
Richter and Paul live from Westminster

Richter and Paul live from Westminster

Richter and Paul, Current Instincts’ resident cats, have a LOT to say about a plethora of topics — from the outdoors to weight loss. Today, they offer their expert* cat analysis on the Westminster Dog Show.

Richter: We don’t know much (OK anything) about dog shows, but I think it’s pretty obvious that the 2011 Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show SUCKED.

Paul: That’s because DOGS SUCK.

Richter: SERIOUSLY. Cat shows are SO MUCH BETTER. Why? Because there is no barking, no butt sniffing, and NO DOGS.  But anyways, since there were so many BAD and UGLY things happening in this show — instead of listing all of them — we’re going to give you the top 5 worst things about the Westminster Dog Show.

Paul: Boo, dogs.

TOP 5 THINGS THAT SUCK ABOUT WESTMINSTER

5. The names. From Devils And Fairies Flesh For Fantasy to Fireside’s Spontaneous Combustion to Avatars Try Try Again, we couldn’t think of worse names for dogs if we tried. Seriously. WTF?! Is that necessary? Are you naming dogs or describing your World of Warcraft alter egos? Yeah we know it’s so that everyone knows what bloodline the stupid pooch belongs to but it’s still LAME AS HELL.

4. This dog.

Seriously? This is a dog?

Seriously? This is a dog?

Just looking at this thing makes us throw up hairballs. It looks like a bastardized Ewok that has been smushed by a real animal and robbed of its will to live.  And no, it’s not so ugly it’s cute — like hairless cats.

3. Disrespecting women. Both of us have been raised by two very intelligent, beautiful, AND independent women. So we were appalled to see the Westminster Kennel Club referring to the contestants as “bitches.” As much as we hate dogs, disrespecting women by referring to them as this hateful term is not COOL.

2. The winner.

Disgusting.

He’s ugly. That is all.

1. No cats. Discrimination, we say! How can you NOT include the smartest, prettiest, most wonderful animal in the ENTIRE WORLD? Yeah, yeah — we know what you’re thinking. This is a DOG show. BUT WE DON’T CARE. Cats should be included, too. Because, unlike dogs, they don’t suck.

— Paul and Richter

*We were hoping that our cats would give a more fair and balanced review, however, just like Fox News, they’re not the best source of information.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. February 16, 2011 5:02 pm

    Ludwig would like to politely disagree with the #1 reason. However, he did stand up against the tv and watch the show intently, despite his mom telling him that he would hurt his eyes if he stood that close. He agrees that some of the dogs looked like weird aliens. He also agrees that the names suck. The solution he proposes? He thinks that since he’s the cutest pooch in the world, with the best name ever (Ludwig Von Koopa Owens-Chamberlain), that the “crown” should be forfeited and given to him.

    • February 16, 2011 5:30 pm

      I think even Richter and Paul would have to agree with that logic. (Except for his disagreement with #1 of course). Ludwig is an exception pooch – he has a fabulous name and he never barks. KING LUDWIG!

  2. February 17, 2011 2:39 am

    I have to agree with their assessment: most of the dogs were ugly and the names sucked. Cat shows are much more dignified and slobber free.

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