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A cow’s plea for more tofu

January 28, 2011

I don’t even know where to start.

I use 100% of myself to live.

I’m a cow, and we cows have a lot of problems — from mad cow disease to flatulence. But most dangerously, perhaps, is the fact that you humans think it’s just fine to eat us. How do you humans decide which animals are okay to eat and which are okay to lavish with praise and live in your homes? No one has ever been able to adequately describe this to me. And don’t tell me it’s an intelligence thing because you eat pigs and pigs are very smart.

I know there are at least some humans who understand the plight of the cow. Which is why I am teaming up with the group Mercy for Animals in calling for Taco Bell to go vegan.

The fast food restaurant is being sued by the state of Alabama for its misuse of the word “beef”. According to the state, only 36% of its beef is actually beef — the other part is spices and gross stuff.

That’s just an insult.

Beef?

We agree with Mercy for Animals that the best way for Taco Bell to remedy this lawsuit would be to just completely eliminate animal products from their menu and use tofu instead. You’re already more than halfway there.

Yeah. That’s a super drastic approach for one of the country’s top fast food restaurants but why not be a leader instead of a follower, Taco Bell?

You can never ever compete with the likes of McDonalds and Burger King so why not just forgo the fast food chain  rat race and veer off into a different direction. One without cattle. Well, technically, not that new since you barely use meat anyway, but you get my drift.

You’ll get a ton of media attention and free marketing, and I’m sure you could deep fry that tofu into something tasty. If anyone can make tofu unhealthy and still appetizing at 3am, it’s you Taco Bell.

The cows of the world implore Taco Bell to take on this challenge! You’re already 60% in the land of no meat – complete your mission and go for the tofu!

-Colleen the Cow

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