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Week 3: Paul attempts two new workouts

January 25, 2011

Paul, Current Instincts’ resident fat cat, has resolved to lose weight in 2011. Here he recaps Week Three of his journey to become a more svelte, sexy feline.

We meet again, humans.

Last we spoke, I was obsessing over my new diet food. It’s still incredibly tasty and so far it’s been keeping me full for a very long time.

Have I lost weight? I’m not sure. It’s too soon to tell, however, I overheard Human #1 tell Human #2 that she thinks she can finally see my body shape.

Gee, thanks. That’s a lame ass compliment if I ever heard one.

So this week, since I was feeling a bit more active and I was bored with my usual games of fetch, laser tag, and chasing imaginary objects around the home, I decided to seek out alternative workout methods.

Inspired by these flexible, agile yoga kittens (show offs), I decided to give yoga a shot the next time Human #1 rolled out her mat. Naturally, when she did, I pushed her aside to see what this yoga thing was all about.

Yoga challenge.

Hmm. A yoga challenge, you say?

The question was – did I want to commit the time to master sun salutations, improve my flexibility, and find inner peace?

Meh. No thanks. I'd rather just lay here.

Meh. No thanks. I'd rather just lay here.

You see, I’m much too wild of a feline to have my monkey brain tamed. I decided to try something a bit more tough. More rugged. More badass.

Something like Kung Fu.

And since I’m a ninja cat by birth, I excelled at Kung Fu. Seriously. Just watch me take down resident fleabag number two.

DID YOU SEE THAT?! I totally knocked her out!

Yeah, OK. The video is a little bit dark. But I was moving so fast Human #1 did not have time to grab a real camera and had to use her phone. I swear I took the dog out, though. Honest!

(Fine! It was totally lame but at least the song is catchy. Jeez you humans are picky.)

Anyways, if you have any workout suggestions, please share them with me.

Otherwise … bye.

Paul the un-agile Cat

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