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Is it a plane? A doll? No, it’s just a stick.

December 20, 2010

Scientists recently discovered that female and male chimpanzees use sticks as toys and play with them in very gender specific ways. Here is one such play date, translated and transcribed.

The greatest toy in the whole wide world and it's all MINE.

Charlie: There is NO WAY I’m sharing my stick with you so you can just pretend to dress it up in leaves and put it to bed!

Chelsea: MOM SAID YOU HAVE TO SHARE!

Charlie: Nuh-uh! Find your own stick! This is a sword — actually, maybe it’s a plane … but whatever it is, it is NOT a stupid doll!

Chelsea: YOU’RE STUPID!

Charlie: NO YOU ARE!

[Yelling]: IF YOU TWO DON’T PLAY NICELY I’M THROWING YOU TO A JAGUAR!

Chelsea and Charlie: Sorry, mom!

Chelsea: See you made mom mad! Now since I’m older I get to play with the stick first. [snatches stick]

Charlie: You suck.

Chelsea carefully puts the doll on a bed of leaves and hums her a song. Charlie immediately grabs the stick and uses it as a sword against an invisible foe. Chelsea starts crying.

Charlie: Now it’s my weapon-plane stick! HAHAHAHAHA. Now I can take over the jungle AND fly away from YOU! [Whacks Chelsea in the head]

Chelsea: [Screeching] I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. YOU’RE SO STUPID.

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