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BREAKING NEWS: Paul the CAT is sleeping with Peggy Sue the DOG

November 18, 2010

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As many of you know, my colleague Paul the Cat, has on more than one occasion, expressed his derision for dogs. It’s something we have in common, along with cats everywhere. I thought Paul was a loyal cat, a dog hating cat. There is evidence of such in this direct quote from Paul:

I just hate dogs so goddamn much.

See? He said it himself. But now, an egregious offense has been committed. I have exclusive, undercover pictures of Paul, not only sleeping with a dog, but appearing to enjoy it. Can you imagine? A slobbery disgusting pooch. I can barely look at these pictures without throwing up on my human’s favorite shoes.

See Paul? This is how you're supposed to sleep. By yourself.

He’s practically grinning in these pictures. If this is who he associates with while he’s sleeping, when he’s the most vulnerable, I shudder to think at what he does with this dog while he’s awake. I feel violated and lied to. I feel like every bad thing he’s ever said about a dog is in question. How can I play with my toys and chase my human down the hallway so that she fears for her life when inter-species relationships like this are happening? How!?!!

Numerous attempts were made to get a comment from Paul on this story but calls, emails, texts, and catnip telegrams went ignored. He’s probably off cuddling, frolicking, and licking this disgusting dog. This incident has shaken me to my very core. I need to go calm down in a sun beam. Alone, without a dog.


2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 18, 2010 2:32 pm

    Maybe Paul is just pretending to sleep, so that he lulls the dog into a false sense of security, and he can then launch an attack?? LOL. If not, then what a traitor indeed!

    • November 18, 2010 2:41 pm

      Interesting. That is something Paul would do — he’s pretty sneaky.

      We definitely need to hear his side of the story. It’s only fair. Let’s hope he speaks soon.

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